Undefining Self

Personal Session – April 19, 2007


Note: This is a transcript of a private session, used by permission of the client. It has been slightly edited for clarity and privacy, though the energy remains intact.

Greetings, dear one.

There was a bit of discussion about who would speak with you this time. Would we bring in Saint-Germain? Would we bring in Tobias? Would we bring in someone else?

We, your angelic team, your runners, your mechanics, however you’d like to see us, we bring in the energy of one of the grandest angels that we could find. We chose to expand and meet and to fully bring in the energy of…YOU.

Now… yes, there goes the head! Let’s call this grand angel that has come “Johann.” Let us FEEL the energy of Johann as if it is – and it is – a grand being from the other side of the veil. Let it be “not you” for now. Feel the energy as it slowly drifts in, carefully, so as not to upset the balance. It is a very large energy. And for now, it is “not you.”

The energy and the voice of Johann will meld with ours and yours and the one who speaks and all of those who are gathered here. This is indeed a ‘Shoud.’ A very specific Shoud, with a very specific flavor, a very specific purpose.

We will embed some specific energies into this that you can return to if you so choose. If you find that the energies seem to get stuck somewhere in your head and you just don’t know what they are, they will still be here for when you come back, for when you can let go and truly allow them into your consciousness.

You see, it is not so much that you are resisting in a conscious way, it is that you have had to – and you certainly have chosen to – create very clear definitions around you. Now, this has been many, many, many lifetimes in the making but in the same way as your skin defines your physical self… it is the definition, it is the boundary… so it is with the consciousness definition. In a way it holds you together but it is also a barrier. It is a barrier both to your expansion and to your reception.

It is a mental construct that you have spent lifetimes very carefully building. We commend you on your ability in this area to build ‘constructs’ – whether they are physical or mental or energetic or any other type. You are very good, believe it or not, at ‘definitions.’ Whether it is the definition of how to create something, or the definition of a program in your computer, or any of these things that require specific definitions, it is where you feel most comfortable.

It is when you go to those places inside you – or anywhere else – where the definitions begin to blur that you feel uncomfortable. And you begin to feel frustrated because you think that you can’t fix it if you can’t define it. Sometimes when feelings came up you feel frustrated because you cannot define them and therefore tell them – to yourself or anyone else.

The frustration comes when there is some lack of ability to create definitions. But, as you know, it’s time to go beyond definitions. You heard that there will be frustration that comes up in this. When you go to this place of “sans definition,” or even in that direction, the frustration – for you especially – comes from not knowing how to define what you’re not supposed to define!

So… we are here to work with you energetically, to be with you, to invite you into a space, a very carefully… paradoxically, it is a very carefully defined space of ‘no definition.’ Ah! Breaking the rules here! Yes, it is a type of room, it is a consciousness room, but when you enter, then it becomes undefined. The energy is here, it has been put in place. Even the energies of the words we choose… even the cadence of the words… there is being woven in and embedded this energy of no definition.

We’re not going to get into the questions just yet, because they are very defined – believe it or not. We want you to wander around in this place of no definition. Perhaps you wonder where we’re going. Let us lead you around for a bit, as if you had a blindfold on.

Allow yourself to feel – whatever you feel.

Through your closed eyelids, what do you see?

Don’t make a picture.

Let yourself see nothing, if that is what you see.

In the silence, between the words that we speak, what do you hear?

Don’t reach out for some other sound, this is a very shielded space.

If you hear nothing let yourself hear nothing.

Feel your body sinking into the space where you recline. Let it feel whatever it feels. Not so much to focus on any particular part or focus on any particular feeling. Just let it be there in your awareness.

The parts of your body… some parts are idle or working slowly, some parts are very active, some parts are doing the job they need to do right now, some are waiting.

Let yourself feel the movement within your body. The movement doesn’t have to be going anywhere, doesn’t have to have a rhythm. It might not even feel like movement. Just let it be there.

Your cells in yourself. Yes, you have physical cells and non-physical cells, in a way. Some cells even fade in and out of physicality. Feel that movement, it is not a movement from here to there, it is a movement from here to here. It doesn’t go anywhere, but it moved. How do you define that? Don’t try!

Let yourself feel the space around you. There’s just space. The space may have construction within it or it may not. Just feel the space, not the construction.

You see, it is something that goes beyond what the words can convey. It is something that is very personal and very abstract. Something that is difficult to explain and almost impossible to think about. Let yourself just be without definition.

Can you be without definition?

Can you be here and not here?

Can you be still and moving?

Can you be solid and fluid?

Can you just be?
When you come to this place of being without definition, not trying to go off somewhere else where there isn’t any definition, but when you can be within yourself and self is without definition, even for a moment, it will open your awareness. It will open your energy, it will have an effect that we are reluctant to even define.

Can you be that Void of Creation? The Void where creation happens. Can you be that?

We’re not asking you to be this void all the time. You’ve got a life to live after all. But to find that beingness and come back to it every now and then. To just be without human definition of yourself, whether physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.

You don’t need to define yourself – how you look in your body, what you feel, what you’re thinking, or what you’re doing. Just come to this energy of only beingness.

Some time ago, in an energetic sense, you revisited your experience of emerging from the Wall of Fire. When you emerged from this Wall of Fire into the Void there was nothing. There was not darkness, there was not light. You were not you. You were you, but you were undefined. You were fragmented.

Now you are whole. Now you are you.

Can you bring yourself – in this new wholeness that’s been created by much, much definition – now can you bring yourself to that point of no definition again? Not going back, but coming full circle to just be.

We ask you to breathe for as long as you want to and we will begin with your questions.

(long silence)

Q: I want to say it’s a difficult place for me, but even that word doesn’t define it.

A: Good. Just let it be a new place.

(long silence)

Q: I can see that a lot of the frustration in my life right now is about losing my definition. The part of me wanting so much to define myself as a successful man, and take care of the family, and willing to create. I find myself having trouble even engaging in my work, keeping my commitments, getting behind in everything. My mind doesn’t know what to do with that.

A: Perhaps it doesn’t need to do anything with it?

What if you woke up every morning without a definition of you? Brand new! Without a definition of “technician.” Without a definition of “partner.” Without a definition of “male.” Without even a definition of “human.” Where would you begin? How would you know what was next? What if you begin your day without the definition of “responsible”? Or without the definition of “irresponsible”?

Q: There’s a part of my mind that is screaming out “What about the clients that have paid me money for the stuff I haven’t gotten done yet?”

A: What if you let go and woke up without the definition of anything? Of being paid? Of not being paid? Of having clients? Or not? What if you woke up every day brand new? How would you know what to do next? You would know, by the way, it is not a trick question. You would free yourself to know what to do next.

Q: C and I are planning to lead the main part of a retreat and we know that a lot of it has to be undefined, that we can’t define it till we’re there. And yet there’s parts of it that the people are wanting us to define, or so it seems.

A: And so, when that moment comes to define it for those ones that think they need to know, can you make it up? Can you let it define itself through your mouth, or through your words in that moment? Could you trust yourself enough to let that definition flow? And trust that it would be a fluid enough definition that it could shift and change into whatever you needed it to be when the times comes? They ask you what it’s going to be about and you open your mouth and you say “it’s going to be about…” and then you both find out.

You see, when you take off the definition you take away the block that keeps that energy from flowing freely. It is the definition that redefines… we don’t want to get too many words going here, but the definitions restrict, guide, lead, define, and this has been extremely useful and important. There is nothing wrong with definition. But when you are ready to go beyond those definitions, it is time for them to meld and blend.

Can you imagine your skin melting and melding, becoming permeable, your whole body becoming permeable, and mingling with another being – whether that being is a human, or a tree or a cat? Can you imagine – and your imagination is good enough – becoming permeable by dissolving the definitions?

Then you can move and flow and speak in the moment. Without definition energy can be anything – in the moment. When something is defined as a rock it is a rock. When it becomes no longer defined in any way, it can become something else.

Can you see where this can go? How do you turn a rock into gold? You take away the definition. How do you see all that you are? You let go of your definitions.

Q: I guess without definition there aren’t too many questions are there?

A: We guess not. You can define some if you want to but can you feel the difference now. As you come back into your mind trying to find the boundaries of the questions, it feels different. Because when you form a question you have to form the boundary between the question and the answer. Otherwise they’re all the same thing.


Q: So a question that is coming up is how would you, Johann, speak to embracing our wholeness, which is the theme of our retreat?

A: First I would be it. I would stand up in front of that group and say “Here I AM. We’re all going to find out what I’m going to say. But I trust myself so much, I trust my wholeness so much, that I know that whatever comes out will be perfect. I can teach wholeness because I Am Whole. I don’t need to talk about it because I demonstrate it.”

And then see what comes next! You might ask for questions, you might take them on a walk, you might have them play with their big toe – you never know. But it would be something, because it would come from your wholeness. We can talk about it with a lot of words, but we’re not going to because you will find them, in the moment, when you are whole. Wholeness comes as the definitions go.

By the way, the barrier between you and Johann is a definition that is an illusion. It is as real as you imagine it to be. You are as separated to the extent that you think about it. To the extent that you think about Him you remain separated from You.

What would I, Johann say in any given moment? Whatever I damn well please! How’s about that? Oh, I, you, have spent a very long time learning how to be careful. Oh yes – those definitions saved your ass many time! You see, Johann is a bit sassy. Johann doesn’t care what he says or who hears it because Johann has stayed outside the definitions.

You carefully constructed those definitions, there are many very intricate rat mazes in there. But they can dissolve at any time. Or you can phase them in and phase them out. That’s one moment you feel yourself in that place of ‘no definition.’ In that moment you are all that you are, you are being, you simply are. An hour later, perhaps you are right back in your maze, in your head, stumbling around in your definitions. You have not gone backwards, you have not failed, you have phased in or phased out of the dimension where your definitions reside or exist.

You can let the definitions serve you. We are not saying to live a 100% of the time without definition, because, well, you wouldn’t have a body. You can do that, but you don’t have to yet. Toy with this a bit.

Q: I will. Thank you.

A: Johann is pretty spunky. Sassier then he is letting on. A lot of fun. Oh, and spontaneous. You, dear one, you can live in all the definitions that you want to – but know that you are choosing them. You are not the victim of your mind. You are not limited to your definitions, you are just choosing them. You can choose to phase out of them every now and then.

By doing that, going through that little – and I don’t want to call it a process – that little shift every now and then, you are going to find that some of the definitions within which you put yourself don’t serve you all that much. And you may not phase them back in. There’s something to play with, to have a bit of fun with and to experience: Going – being – beyond definitions.

We thank you and we want to acknowledge you for your willingness to bring this energy in, bringing this information into consciousness. You see, this energy and information ripples out and affect others. It creates potentials for others, it creates a pathway for more to come in. And so we thank you for that also.

And with that we are complete.