Personal Session – December 2007
I am, yes I am, Saint-Germain, coming in to honor you and to dance with you a bit because you are one who has chosen, made the conscious choice, to be a creator. Humans still do not understand what an important choice that is, to make the choice to BE the conscious creator. Not just accept that you are or have some vague idea about it, but to say “YES, I choose to be the creator.”
You have made that choice, you have put out that call and yes, we have been working with you over these last days and even weeks of time. And I chose to come in and speak with you directly though of course there are many others here. There is your angelic team, the ones who have been with you, around you, working with you and enjoying witnessing the tremendous energy that has been moving. Yes, it is confusing to your human self, but that’s okay. We will bring some clarity.
There is also the energies of Tobias because this is so dear to his heart, this whole idea of taking ownership of YOU, of your creatorship. It is the… if there was a goal, it is the goal of everything he has been teaching Shaumbra: to be the creator that you are.
And Kuthumi also brings his energy, perhaps with a bit of humor now and then but, more than anything, to remind you that this can be easy. Now “easy”… once again, Shaumbra get so hung up on these concepts and these words. They hear “easy” and they think it means “easy for the mind to understand.” That is not what we mean at all. The mind would love to have everything figured out and sorted out and classified and quantified and planned and scheduled and all of these things. But energy, and especially NEW energy doesn’t work that way and probably never will. “Easy” means “trust.” Trusting yourself.
Imagine that you are out on the sea. Sometimes it is calm, sometimes it is stormy. And you feel that you have to have your compass, you have to have your charts, you have to see the stars, you have to see the sun, you have plan your course and you have to adjust the sails and work the oars and man the rudder and all of these things in order to get where you’re going. In order to get where you’d like to go, where you think you want to go, you have to do all of these things. And you think “easy” then means that the sea remains calm with just the right amount of wind, not too much sun to burn you but enough to keep you warm, and all of these things that would support all of these procedures that your mind thinks it has to do.
But actually “easy” means letting go of all that. Letting go. Trusting that the waves, the wind, the sun, will all somehow propel you to exactly where you need to be. You can just enjoy the ride. You can just lie back, know that you’re getting there, perhaps catch a fish now and then, perhaps write some poetry. Whatever you might do out on the ocean. “Easy” means allowing it to happen, even when the storm comes up, even when the wind seems to be blowing the opposite direction than it did the day before. Can you trust this? Can you allow it to be easy?
So… we invite you now to tell us whatever you would like to about these last few days, with any questions you may have.
Client: In the last session with Jean I felt first like a rock and then like a big mountain, I didn’t feel so lively. And then I got homework [to feel and communicate with various things] and I went down to the sea where there is a rock in our lake of Constance. This rock told me that he has the same life as the waves and the waters around him and yes, I know this all but I really felt it for the first time. I felt it. So I took a different object and everywhere I felt, there is the same flow of life, even in an object I would say in my humanity “It’s fixed, it not alive.” So this was a great feeling for me. But then I felt confused the last few days and everything went into confusion. I also felt very pregnant and I don’t know what this means. And yesterday day I got a name and I didn’t understand. The first name was Jeremy and then it was Francis Bacon and I didn’t know that Francis Bacon was you, Saint-Germain!
Saint Germain: I’m full of surprises!
Client: (laughing) Yes I know. So perhaps you can tell me a little about all this confusion…?
Saint Germain: Indeed. It is confusing only to the mind – and that can be quite confusing! The mind is not comfortable with that because the mind was designed to create order, or to impose order.
First of all, you had the experience – you gave yourself the experience – of opening up and feeling the life energy that is within everything. It is true that to the human senses some things seem alive – or more alive – than others, and other things seem completely without life. But if you were to go deeper, if you were to take one of your instruments – a microscope, even a physical instrument – and look deeper into the layers of anything, you would see the molecules and the atoms, the sub-atomic particles, and eventually you would see that there is just energy. Just energy particles and waves, vibrating in certain patterns. It has to be alive in order to take that form, you see. A rock, “Oh it’s just a rock,” you say. But it must be alive in order to be vibrating in that type of structure. If it was “dead” it would not exist, you see.
This is true for everything that you see. Man comes to the earth and takes things from the earth and changes the structure of the energy make-up. You turn oil into plastic or you turn trees into buildings, all of these different things, and it is just restructuring the life energy that is already there. Now this is a key or a clue to creation. This is all that you’ve been doing throughout your existence, restructuring the energy patterns of life. It is all life. There is nothing that exists that is not life or it would not exist.
You are, you could say, more alive because you have consciousness. You have self consciousness and self awareness, and you have divinity. You have that creator spark within you that is capable of rearranging the structures of life. Because of the world that you are playing in, because of taking on the human forgetfulness, you have narrowed your creator abilities to a very small spectrum. You think if you want to create something then you have to go and get the materials, perhaps exchanging something called money for, let’s say, paper. And then you have to get a pen and then you have to write. Or you have to go and get some clay and form it and shape it to create something.
You go through all of these procedures which are only very slowed down energy transformation. It is all restructuring energy. That’s all it ever is. When you drive your car with it’s engine, when you do anything, you are simply restructuring energy.
So… keep this in mind with everything that you do. When you eat, you are taking the energy that has been structured into food and restructuring it into energy that your body can use in many different ways. When you go to bed you are taking energy that has been structured as your bedding, your linens and your clothing, and holding that structure, for the time being, in order to restructure your energy in the form of rejuvenation and rest and giving your body and mind a bit of time to rejuvenate. All of earth experience is about restructuring energy to suit you, to serve you. Humans have forgotten that it’s all there to serve them. They think they have to fight for it, they think they have to control it, and this has led to a lot of imbalances but also a lot of experiences and a lot of learning as well. Nothing is inappropriate here.
But when you make that shift within yourself to feel how it is all simply energy restructuring, then you can do anything. The world is your playground, it’s your sandbox, it’s your ball of clay that you can form into anything.
And then comes into the picture new energy. New energy is unlike anything that you’ve ever worked with before. It is chaotic, oh yes, very confusing. It is unreliable, it does not hold structure very well at all. It is very undefinable, very difficult to hold onto and generally uncooperative – at least in the old ways! But it is also here to serve you. What you’ve been feeling in these last couple of days is the chaos of new energy coming in. It IS confusing. It’s completely confusing for it doesn’t fit into any of the old ways that make sense to any part of you, let alone to your mind. It is there to serve you and it can be used by you in many, many different ways but it is very fluid.
For instance, you can form a bit of new energy into a thought or into a potential, and then you go into that and explore it and it very quickly changes to something else. That doesn’t mean it’s misleading you or that you can’t use it. It just means that it’s all going to work differently now. It’s not mocking you or taunting you, it is what it is. And it is rather challenging to comprehend or to work with. You, dear one, you are one of the pioneers in consciously working with new energy. And of course, immediately you want to know “What does that mean? How am I working with it? I don’t even know what I’m doing!” That’s okay. Trust that you actually DO know what you’re going, that there’s a part of you that is interested in this that is learning in every moment.
Now your human self may not know what it’s doing, your mind is completely confused. This is where the breathing comes in, this is where the trust comes in that is so important. To trust this seeming confusion, to trust the chaos, to trust that the energy around you … not only the old energy of duality that creates your 3-d reality, it is all there to serve you and you are there to restructure it according to your desires … but there is also new energy that is there to serve you. It also will structure itself according to your desires but probably not in any recognizable way.
We are challenged when it comes to words to describe this. We have been working with all of Shaumbra over these last many years to build your own self trust; to understand that you are multidimensional; to understand that it is your desire, your creatorship, that does create your reality. And all of this has been in preparation for working with the new energy because it doesn’t work like the old.
Client: I feel like I can’t do all the normal things like I could before, so I’m sitting here in my room, in my burrow, and I don’t know what I’m doing, really. So I think “This can’t be my life!”
Saint Germain: It IS your life in this moment – and it certainly will change. That is the one constant about new energy: it does continually change. This is, again, where trust comes in. And we are being allowed to share here that Jean is also going through something very similar. “If THIS is the way it is, how is anything ever going to get done? How will I possibly pay my bills? How will … I may as well crawl in a corner and curl up for 100 years!”
This is the time of incubation or pregnancy, as you might compare it. It IS a time of turning inward, of allowing the energies to move, to grow, to restructure themselves inside you. Then, as you know, after a time of pregnancy there comes a time of tremendous activity, of birthing, of creating and then nurturing. All of this will take place, maybe not quite how you had expected it … when you have a child things are never the way you expected them to be! But this time of turning inward, this time of inner creation, it doesn’t last. You go through a type of cycles. You go through this turning inward, this incubation period, and then the birthing and expression period, and then you come back inside. It’s a natural cycle of creation. We invite you here to not hold on to the way things are in any given moment. Just because for two days everything is confusing and you are barely capable to just sit there and do nothing – but breathe, we hope! – doesn’t mean it’s always going to be like that. Doesn’t even mean it’s going to be like that tomorrow. But to trust you, to trust that it is okay, that it is appropriate, there is creation happening, you just can’t see it just yet.
Now, the mind is going to want to control the creation. You think “Okay, I want to write a book,” and so the mind goes to work, wanting to know what it’s going to be about, how the chapters will be structured, what the title might be, how are you going to put it all together and all of these things. The mind wants to have it all planned out. So let’s say you’ve made the choice to write a book – and then, a little while later everything seems to fall apart. Everything goes into chaos. You can hardly string three words together in an email let alone write a book. You can hardly string three thoughts together in your head let along write a book! So you think, “Well that’s not working. Nothing’s working, everything’s falling apart, how will I ever do this?”
That is the mind. It’s true that things are falling apart from the perspective of the mind. Things are not going smoothly in the old way. But another thing about the new energy is there is not any type of linear development. It doesn’t go from here to here to here in a sensible fashion. New energy doesn’t have a lot of sense, you could say.
But what’s really happening is you’ve made the choice, for example, to write a book. And so your inner creator – because you have awakened that inner creator, you’ve awakened that divine core of You – it goes to work. It says “Okay, we’re going to write a book,” and it starts drawing in all of the knowledge and wisdom and compassion and stories and all that you have available to you because, as we had you do during the breathing exercises, you have drawn to yourself all that you are. You have awakened and activated all that you are. Now that is quite a lot. It is far more than your mind could possibly comprehend, but it’s all activating now. It’s all coming in, the appropriate parts and pieces that have something to contribute to your creation. And it’s chaos!
It’s as if you have a little office and there your mind is sitting and it says, “Okay, we’re going to write a book, let’s get going on this.” And the mind contacts the boss and says “Okay, we’re ready to begin” and the boss activates. The boss activates and pretty soon that little office is overrun by thousand and thousands of helpers – and the little mind at the desk is completely overwhelmed! “How can I possibly organize all of this? How can it possibly make sense? Everyone’s talking at once. Everyone has something to contribute, I don’t even know where to start. This is impossible.” And the mind goes into overwhelm.
But all of those parts have been called in by the boss, by You. Each of them knows exactly what they bring to this creation. Each of them knows where to put it, each of them knows how to say it. All you have to do is start writing. All you have to do is allow it to happen, allow the chaos and confusion to be there because all of the parts of the chaos and confusion know exactly what to do. It’s like a grand throng of people but each of them are a part of you, they have heard the call and they know exactly what to contribute.
Now we’re not saying that you have to write a book here but we are using this as an example because it is also a message for Jean. It is to trust, to absolutely trust the chaos because now … you see, until now the little mind sitting at the desk, every time one or two or three parts come into the office, the mind has to get them organized, has to catalog everything, take down the information and put it where it goes. But now, with such a massive crowd the mind has no idea what to do. The mind is overwhelmed and it is absolute chaos.
But the boss knows. The boss has created all of these parts. They all have a part or a piece to contribute. The mind no longer has to organize it all. The mind can just start typing and things will come in. Different thoughts, different parts will come in at the appropriate time. It may take a completely different direction than the mind thought, but eventually the mind will learn to throw out all of its files, all of its cubicles, all of its organization things and just become the servant of this crowd of parts. The mind will learn that it can let go of all of this organizing that it’s been working so hard at and getting so tired of.
The mind wants to serve you. It wants to be a good employee. It wants to do its job well so that you appreciate it. So at first it’s going to work even harder and go into a bit of a panic at this point. But You can – we like our metaphor here! – You can pick up the intercom or the telephone and talk to your mind and say, “It’s okay, everything is alright. Just start writing. Don’t worry about having to organize it all. Don’t worry, it’s all okay. Just do what’s right there in front of you. I trust you.” And so eventually the mind learns to throw out all the ideas of organization, because it’s completely overwhelmed anyway, and just do what’s right there in front of it.
Your mind is going to find out that life gets a lot easier. That whatever is in front of it is what’s appropriate in that moment and it doesn’t have to organize the schedule, so to speak, to make sure that the right part is there at the right time. The mind doesn’t even have to make sure that other things are getting taken care of, such as the bills getting paid or this or that being taken care of in the rest of your life, or the “company” in our metaphor here. It doesn’t have to organize all that because those parts know what to do. If something needs to happen, that particular part shows up and hands it to the mind and says “Here, write this check; or send this bill; or it’s time to go to the store.” In that moment the mind can carry out the task that whatever part has given it at the instructions of the boss. The boss is You, it’s not your mind.
So this chaos is a wonderful birthplace of tremendous creativity. This confusion that you feel, it is only at the level of the mind. Only. Everything else is in order, for you have activated all these parts of you and they are finally ready to participate. But you don’t have to organize it all. You don’t have to direct every part. It is all there to serve you in this tremendous dance, this tremendous activity of creation.
Client: So it’s only to have the trust in the life and in what’s coming up…
Saint Germain: Indeed. Indeed. Now, as you breathe with yourself … and we want you to continue the breathing, to spend this time with yourself every day, just a few minutes. It doesn’t have to be anything long and drawn out. Breathe throughout your day but maybe begin your day with this birthing time for you where you breathe with yourself and you feel yourself and you allow potentials to come in, ideas, thoughts, things that interest you. And every now and then you can make a choice. “Ah, I want to create something. I want to create this. I want to do that.” Feel your choice, make your choice, but then let it go, knowing that your choice is activating a whole crowd of parts of you that come in to fulfill that choice.
Now don’t get frightened here that every time you make a choice your life is going to go into chaos! You’re going to get used to it and it’s not going to seem quite so chaotic as you go along. But when you take this conscious breath and do this breathing that we have shared with you and make your choices, it does activate so much that you are. You have activated your Creator Self.
Creation, by the way, is rather messy. Creation is rather chaotic. If you go into a forest, a natural forest where creation has been allowed to run amok, so to speak, where creation has been set free, there is nothing orderly about it! There are big trees and small trees and weeds and bushes and dead things and live things and all sorts of birds and all sorts of LIFE. It is chaos but there is also fantastic order in this forest. Everything is interconnected with everything else. Life is happening abundantly, but it is in chaos. It is in confusion. All the trees don’t grow at the same rate, they don’t plant themselves in orderly rows. The flowers, maybe there’s a bunch of them right here and none over there. It’s not how a human mind would have planned it, but it is full of life.
Client: Yes, I want to ask you, because I wanted to write a book with you about the real beauty. First it started a little bit and then….?
Saint Germain: Wonderful! And it will be you that is writing the book though I will be near, I will be with you. I don’t want you to channel this book from me. I want you to channel it from yourself, from this tremendous creator that you are. You see, you made that choice, got the energy moving, and then took a bit of time to really stir up the beauty around you. With this experience that you had of feeling the life energy in a rock, in everything, can you see now the new layers and the new depth of beauty that you can describe in your book? See? You made the choice and now you’re going into your creation.
Tobias loves to tell the story of the artist who painted a beautiful picture on the canvas and then wanted to experience that picture. So the artist put part of its consciousness into the painting, to wander around, to explore the colors, the paint, the structures, the life that it had created as the painting. You chose to create a book and yes, on the other realms it has been created. It’s wonderful, by the way. Very wonderful. I love to read it. And now you are going into your creation to experience the beauty of life in some new ways. To add depth, to add color, to bring it into your human experience so that when you do express it in this earthly realm it will have many layers. There will be beauty and life energy in the very pages and ink of the book. You will be able to relate and portray the beauty with new depth and in new ways than you would have before, you see.
As we said, creation is chaos. It is chaotic. You have gone into your creation and you have activated your creation. In a sense, you could say you are immersed in your creation. It is all around you. Yes, it is chaotic and confusing but that is only one level. Go to another level. Feel into the confusion, because confusion is just a lot of energy going all different directions. You can feel into that and feel the life energy and beauty, even in confusion.
You see, your book is not only about the beauty of things or people. It’s about the beauty of the process of life; the beauty that is in pain; the beauty that is in every different emotion. It’s about the beauty of experiencing the chaos of life. It’s about finding the beauty that is in everything. How can you tell someone how to see the beauty in confusion if you haven’t done that? So you give yourself this potential to experience. It doesn’t mean that everything is going wrong, it means that everything is going perfectly. Perhaps not quite the way your mind would have organized it, but so much better.
Client: And can you tell me what’s going on with my body? It also feels chaotic inside.
Saint Germain: Indeed. It is also activating and recreating. Now, in every human there are many, many potentials, many of which do not get activated. Potentials for things like cancer and illnesses. Potentials for things like getting young again. Potentials for all sort of things. All of the potentials are within you for any manifestation of your physical body, though most of them are not activated. The potential be large or small, to be thin or fat, tall or short, you carry the potentials for all of these things. You have only chosen to activate certain ones.
The chaos that you feel in your body … as we said, you have activated yourself. You have activated many layers of energy in your full being as well as in your physical body. Now, you don’t need to worry about this. You don’t need to worry “Oh dear, I’ve activated some illness, or I’ve activated this or that.” You have just activated yourself and You will restructure and recreate yourself in the most appropriate way. You’re not going to manifest all of the potentials that you carry. You will manifest the appropriate ones and perhaps release some that you no longer need to carry.
So, the short answer is that you have activated yourself. Things are getting restructured inside you and it is quite chaotic, but only from your human perspective. It is as that whole crowd of parts have come alive. Each of them know what to do but the mind sitting behind the desk has no idea how to handle them all. So all of these potentials in your body, all of the parts that you’ve activated, they will know exactly how to serve you.
We will say to continue the breathing for at least another two weeks – for the rest of your life would be wonderful – but especially for these next few weeks where you have activated all of this. The breathing will help facilitate everything to settle down again in its new way. It will make it easier. The breathing calms your nervous system, calms your mind, and provides the safe space for all of these things to come into their new balance. Your body is simply manifesting your choices, manifesting what’s going on in other levels, and it is all in order. Thank you.
Client: Sometimes I think of writing or doing some channelings … but I have no more passions.
Saint Germain: It is … how to say … it is going to be different. In the past you have used the passion to propel you. It is as if you light a fire under yourself and that moves you forward. It’s going to be different now. It’s no longer that you need to push yourself using your passion because you’re not getting from “here” to “there,” you’re not having to propel yourself to accomplish something. Now your creation happens in the moment.
Can you give yourself permission to not have passion for channeling or writing? If you can give yourself permission to say, “If I don’t write again for six months that’s okay. I’m just going to enjoy myself, do what I want to do in any given moment, and let it be. I’m going to trust me,” you will probably find that when you let yourself off the hook, so to speak, when you turn on that trust and take away the expectations, all of a sudden you’re going to feel “Oh, I want to write something!” You might write a paragraph or two and say “Now I’m done. I don’t know where that came from or what I’m going to do with it, but there it is.” A little while later you want to write some more, and you find that it starts coming.
Your only job is to let it flow. Not to push it out, not to work at it, but when it’s there to give it voice. It is as if the little mind is sitting at the desk and one of those parts comes in and hands it a dictation, let’s say. Hands it a piece in that moment and the mind types it out and says “Okay, there it is.” It’s all going to come together and make sense at some point but you no longer have to push it. You no longer have to light that fire under yourself because now it’s inside you and expressing in any moment.
It may express as words on paper. It may express as a drawing. It may express as making cookies. Your creator self has many, many, many ways to express. Your only job is to show up and allow that expression to come out – through your hands, through your mouth, through your body.
Trust yourself. Oh, we cannot emphasize that enough. To trust you, to trust the creator that you are. It can be a bit overwhelming to the human – to the human self and the human mind – because it is much greater than what the human self is accustomed to dealing with.
We have said that you are your higher self now, that you are all that you are, that you are the designated ascendee, that you in this lifetime are bringing back all that you are. And it’s true. But all that you are doesn’t easily fit into the expectations or the structures of the human mind and the human self. These will expand. Your mind will learn how to work with this grander you. But it is broader, it is deeper, it is bigger than what you’re used to and bringing it in seems like chaos sometimes.
Your mind will expand, your awareness will expand to deal with this, to assimilate it. But it will happen by your trust and by your release of control and expectations of yourself. It’s not going to happen by working hard at getting a grasp on things. It won’t work by doing it the old ways. It will work by setting yourself free of the ways that you thought it would be. But setting yourself free of the expectations that the mind had. The mind had wonderful expectations, by the way. There was nothing wrong with them. But, as grand as they were, they were limited because they came from the mind and the mind is simply limited in its comprehension.
We’re going to say one more thing here. When the expression comes, when the inspiration or the words or whatever it is comes, it’s not always going to be like you expected it to be. There may be things that you find yourself writing about that you never expected, things that might even be challenging for your human self to accept. Again, it is to trust yourself. If you judge or reject or try to redirect your expression in any moment … let’s say you think you’re writing a book about beauty and you find yourself writing about something ugly and you say “Well this isn’t right, that doesn’t go, this is not what I’m supposed to be writing. I have to stop this.” Then you are interfering with your own divine flow. You’re interfering, you’re constricting the energies and you’re going to find that things in your life get uncomfortable. The difficulties or discomfort may not seem to be directly related but they will be because everything in you and in your life is very interconnected.
So don’t restrict or try to control or redirect your expression. Allow it to be whatever it is in every moment, even if your mind has a hard time with it. If you are writing a book about beauty and something comes out that seems ugly, let it be. Let yourself express because you’re letting your energy flow and you will very soon see how it all fits together.
Again, using the metaphor of the little mind behind the desk: he sees all of these parts – they fill the room, they spill out into the street, they go down the street, there is more than he can imagine – and he doesn’t see how all of them can be fit together. But eventually it will create a work of tremendous energy, of tremendous beauty, of many levels and layers, and you will see how it all goes together. But don’t judge or restrict or redirect your expression. Just allow it to flow. Thank you.
So … it has been quite an honor to share all of this with you. We honor you dear one for you are here to find life in the most unexpected places, to find beauty in the most unexpected places. It is a joy to work with you. We have great fun on the other side, in the other realms, often while you’re sleeping but sometimes when you’re overwhelmed by the chaos as well. We do have great fun and it is a pleasure to work with you in many different ways. You will continue to have assistance, although we have to say here that you are doing just fine. The assistance will be in the form of reminders that you’re doing fine, reminders that you’re not alone, reminders that in the chaos everything is in divine order.
I am that I am Saint Germain.