Return to You

Shoud – July 29, 2006


Dear angels, dear humans…


It would be so easy for all of us to sit in this sweet energy in silence, hearing the songs of your heart, hearing the music of your soul, but we have also gathered to speak. This is a Shoud, this is the voice of each one of you as well as the voices of all of those you have invited in.

Take a breath, allow yourself to feel the energies that have gathered. Don’t try to figure it our – we’re all here! Just allow yourself to open and feel.

Feel the energies of your own angelic team, standing around you with such love and such compassion, such support and such honor. Breathe it in.

Allow yourselves to feel the very special energies of your celestial partner, the one who came to you… you, a Standard in the Order of the Crimson Circle. You know, you are like royalty, you are like dignitaries. We are you assistants, never your guide, but each of you have a special attache, a special assistant, even in addition to all of us who have always loved to be in service to you. Allow yourself to feel those energies. No need to figure it out, no need to ask the name, it doesn’t matter. At your soul level, you know each other. Just feel the love and the honor.

Allow yourselves to feel the energies of Shaumbra, energies of those who have been a part of these gatherings, energies of those with whom each of you are dear and familiar, energies of those whom you have touched in other lifetimes even. There is a very special interconnection between all of Shaumbra, like a network. Very special lines of communication. Allow yourselves to feel the energies of Shaumbra… your family.

Now and then you may feel a pull of energy, or you may feel something… perhaps it is your own energy being summoned to some other Shaumbra gathering, or another Shaumbra family member calling out for a bit of assistance. You are always in touch with each other and each of you can call out, at any moment, and all of you – and all of us – will come immediately to your side, adding our love and support.

Shaumbra, dear ones, you are angels, not just humans. The angels come rushing to your side… we are always here, but we come so close in your energies whenever you call, whenever you open. Shaumbra, you do the same! You rush to the side of the ones who call. Oh, your human mind isn’t always aware, but sometime when you feel a bit spacey for a moment, or you feel some little tug in your heart, just feel. Just smile and know that everything is as it should be. Your energy is participating in this wonderful family.

Allow yourselves to feel the energies of this place. There are many levels to the energies here in this place. You can feel the air. You can feel the life. Perhaps you can feel the energies of the Elementals who assist. Perhaps you can feel the layers of energies of those who have been here before. Everyone who has been in this place has added their energy to it, sometimes just a bit, sometimes a very thick layer. Just feel it. Some layers will feel different from others. You can feel them all at once, or you can tune yourself to feel the separate ones like a radio tuning through the different stations. It’s all here. Let yourself feel.

Feel the energies of the earth, the energies of those who passed through this place hundreds of years ago. The energies of those who put so much of their energy into this place, even just a few years ago, even just a few moments ago. Oh, even your own energies are here.

With the breath, allow yourself just to feel. You see, it does matter where you gather (there was some discussion beforehand about what place in the garden to sit). It is not that one spot is better or worse than another, it is just different. Each time it might be different, you might feel a draw to a different place that resonates in that moment. The energies even would feel a bit different. It does matter, but it’s not something for you to worry about – just feel it!

Become accustomed to feeling the differences, to feeling how your own energy interacts with the energy in any particular place. In fact, after this gathering give yourself a few moments to walk around, to stand by yourself in any spot you choose and breathe for a moment and just feel. Don’t think about it, just feel. And then go to a different spot and feel.
So… this Shoud that you are doing, it is a collection of all of these energies. Not just the angels, not just you. Oh, if you allow yourself to feel you can also feel the energies of your favorite ones: Tobias, Adamus, Kuthumi, Quan Yin, Raphael… they love it when you gather. They sit in the circle around you, adding their energies also – not to teach you but to support you, the Teachers. You see, you are Teachers now. It is not that we, some grand angels in the heavenly realms, now need to teach the teachers. Oh no, you ARE the Teachers. How many dimensions, how many levels of reality do you suppose you’re teaching? Allow yourself to be the Teacher – on every level, the Teacher that you are.
We’re going to speak just a bit about something and then we’re going to allow each of you to speak if you desire. You can ask questions, you can share. We want to tell you… give you – remind you of – a tool that you have, something that would have been very difficult for you to use not so long ago. But now, the God that you are, the human angel that you are, you have given yourself this wonderful tool to come back into balance – no matter what else might be happening.

Whenever you feel distress about anything… anything… it could be something in the news that you heard that hurt your heart; it could be something that someone in your family has done or said; some choice someone has made that seems foolishness to you; it could be something that someone has said to you; it could be a circumstance, perhaps you’re running late – anything at all. When you feel distress – for any reason – turn your energy back to you. Turn your love towards yourself.

So many of you are quick to send your love and send your light out to those poor humans who are having such a hard time! Turn your love and your light back to YOU. Give yourself a hug, a touch, words of love. Very simply stated: when you are in distress over anything, love yourself. Love yourself.

When you give – and receive – your own love completely, nothing will distress you! You will see the perfect balance that is all around you in everything. You will see the perfect and beautiful dance of life. You will see how to move and participate in the dance, in full honor for every other – and the choice of every other. When you are in full balance with yourself, fully loving you, fully receiving your own love – fully – then the world will be in balance because you will feel it from a place of balance.

And we tell you, it seems so simple. It sounds TOO simple to your mind. You say “Yes, but that maniac is driving down the road – what does loving myself have to do with that?” We tell you… YOU are telling you: loving yourself in any moment of distress will put things right, because it will put things right inside you and that is where you create your reality.

Give your love to yourself. We know you want it form others, you want others to receive your love, you want the world to be in love and in peace, you want all of these things. But we tell you, and you tell you, “Come back to you.” It begins and it ends within you.

When you are in distress of any kind, love yourself.

And with that, you will be delighted to take your questions!

QUESTION 1: I have a question… the question I have is about mass consciousness and our families, our friends that are beginning to wake up or perhaps there are many out there that haven’t and I was just wondering how the energy is going to be affecting the people that will be coming to us and those that may NOT be coming to us. Thank you.

ANSWER: We could give you a different answer for every one. Every human, as you know, is unique. Every one has their chosen path, has their chosen story, has their history, the baggage they have chosen to bring with them. Some of them will resonate with this part of a new truth or understanding, some of the will resonate with another part. Eventually they will all awaken. Eventually.

You have had a saying: “All paths eventually lead to God” and this is true. Eventually, every path will lead to Self. Some choose a difficult path, some choose a difficult path for a while and then see this other path that might not be so hard. Each one… and we will say this applies to everyone including children… each one has chosen – and is choosing mostly unconsciously, but they are choosing – each step. The energies that you have been bringing in, the New Energy that is coming in, it will affect each one in a different way.

For a very simplistic example, look at the trees. Some have small leaves that quiver in the slightest breeze. Some have great branches and they only sway when the winds are high. Every one will respond and interact with the New Energy in their own unique way, just like each of you would feel the energy of this place as it interacts with your own.

Every time your energy interacts with another – human, earth, any type of energy – it is a unique interaction. It is never the same. It will also be like this for those who come to you. This is why it has been so important to come back to the Now, to come back to the breath. Every breath you take is different, different molecules of the oxygen and the things that you breathe. Each breath is different. Each moment is different. Each interaction, even with the same person on a different day, it will be different words and different energies exchanged.

You will know what to say, or what not to say. Just begin with the breath. You don’t even have to tell them you’re breathing, just listen and breathe with yourself. Sometimes listening is all that is needed. Your own coherent energy then radiates out and helps to soothe the energies around you, and the ones who come to you. Many times they come only to touch that coherence, to touch that radiance, just to give them a bit of light, a bit of clarity. That’s all they need. Each one will be different. And it is very important to honor the choice of each one, whether it makes sense to your or not.

QUESTION 2: I have a question. I’ve been feeling very out of balance and overwhelmed lately, and like things in my life… I’m not keeping up with things, and my mind comes up with a lot of stories about why that is, and I’m beginning to suspect they’re all just stories. I’d like some perspective.

ANSWER: You’re not keeping up with yourself. You – bar none – YOU are your number one priority. You come from an incredibly deep and long lineage, both ancestral and karmic and energetic, of putting everyone else first. Of putting service first. The organization, the most wonderful things, the most worthy causes, always come first. And you have burnt out more than once. It is time to come back to you.

When you are in this distress, as we spoke of earlier, come back to you. Your mind will say “Yes, but I’ve got to finish this. This is for the Crimson Circle after all, it’s the most important thing, after all.” And we say, as a Standard of the Order of the Crimson Circle, Self comes first. And you have heard this. Self comes first. If necessary review the points that were given. The Way of the Standard ALWAYS is about Self.

Come back to you. Keep up with yourself. Catch up with yourself. Take yourself out and stay out, in the mountains or whatever you choose, until you’ve caught up with yourself. Your mind is racing and racing and working so hard. You have a wonderful mind, but as you know, a slave, driven too hard, will eventually drop. Nurture yourself. Love yourself. Choose yourself first. Then everything else will somehow magically flow.

Some of it may not get done when it was desired but understand there is a perfect flow to everything. Maybe there’s a part of a project – “Needs to be done now” – oh, but it didn’t get done, and it turns out that another piece had to come in first. You see, step back a bit to the divine perspective, to the perspective of total balance with yourself first.

We cannot say it firmly and enthusiastically enough: Come back to Self. Love yourself. And until you are in love with yourself, until you have caught up with yourself, nothing else matters. Dear one, you have so much to give. Let it be to yourself, let yourself receive it, and the rest will easily and simply flow. If it is not flowing, it is because you are not in coherence with yourself. Come back to yourself.

QUESTION 3: Ok, I’ve got a question: So how do you come back to yourself?

ANSWER: Wonderful question. Thank you! Once again, in each moment it will be different. There is no little formula that you can write on the wall or on your refrigerator – other than “Choose yourself first” – but in each moment it will be different.

Let us say you’re going through your day, something comes to you and you feel distress. Something happens, a responsibility comes, a bit of news, whatever it is; you feel that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach, the tightness in your shoulders, the furrow of your brow, the heaviness of the heart. In that moment, or as soon as you remember… there will be no guilt here. No guilt for saying “Oh, I did not come back to myself.” No guilt.

As soon as you remember, stop everything. Just stop for a moment… Breathe into your belly… Just breathe for a moment… Feel yourself… Touch yourself… Put your hand on your heart… Put your hands around you… Touch your face… “Dear Self, you are so beautiful. I love me so much.” Speak words of love to you.

It doesn’t need to have anything to do with the subject that caused your distress. It would be better if it doesn’t because that will engage the mind. When you feel the distress… it is like stopping and turning completely around, not even looking any more at the problem, the situation. Turn back around as if you suddenly remembered the Beloved is right behind you and you turn around and love yourself. “Dear Self, what do you need this moment? How can I love you this moment? I do love you. I love ME.” Whatever you need in that moment.

Now your mind will jump in and say “No, you can’t take time off right now. No, you can’t go off for a drive. No, you can’t do all these things, there are all these other things that have to be taken care of.” We know this is the cause of much of your distress. But YOU come first. The whole world could fall apart but you must come first. And we tell you, the world will not fall apart. Your life may change – it will only be for the better – when you come first. When you love you first. Not anyone else, not tomorrow. When you love you first, whatever that means in each moment, your life will take on a flow, you will take on the glow of love, your life will become easy.

Your mind… you’ll have to reassure your mind. You’ll have to remind your mind that it is not your master. It is exhausted from the responsibility that it has carried. You can tell your mind you are loving you first now and things WILL work out. Perhaps you don’t have an explanation just yet. Perhaps you can’t tell yourself how it’s going to work out, but when you love yourself first, no matter what, it will work out. It will.

You are God. Come back to you. Love you in a very tangible, audible, real way. Love yourself. Just the choice to put yourself first, the shift in your energy of that choice, will bring you back to yourself. Thank you.

QUESTION 4: I have a question. I notice that I can get into a flow of being and doing the things that I feel are necessary to accomplish and to achieve, and I will get into a nice momentum, and it feels… suddenly I just hit a barrier and I just stop. And I don’t know why the barrier is coming up but it is distressing to me that that is happening. It feels like something keeps stopping me and I would love to have your perspective on that.

ANSWER: First of all, understand, without exception, that it is you stopping you. There is no external force, there is no angel standing in front of you. It is you stopping you. Now, once again, each time it may be different. When there is something that continues you may find a pattern, and in your case, there is a… it is, you could say, an issue of old lifetimes. But truly that doesn’t even matter. The solution begins with accepting that it is you stopping you.

Now, take off the judgment! Do not say “I’m doing it again, I keep sabotaging myself. Why am I doing this?” That is full of judgment. When you hit this brick wall, say “Oh, I’m stopping myself. Dear Self, what is it that you need? Why are we stopping here? What is the purpose?” And listen to yourself.

Perhaps there might be fear that has been buried very deeply. Now fear, there’s nothing wrong with it. It is very useful information for you. Do not judge the fear. It is for you to discover yourself. For you, an act of love would be to open up and say “Dear Self, let me hear you. What is it that you fear?” You can speak to your Self as if it is a child. Don’t get all intellectual about it, just feel it. Hold yourself, comfort yourself. Now ‘comforting’ doesn’t mean to ‘Drive away the fear.’ It means to hold yourself in the midst of the fear, and love yourself in the midst of the fear.

Perhaps there is a desire, deep down, that you have been ignoring. Perhaps there is something and that deep part of you is insisting, like a child would insist, “I want to go this way.” And as you know, a child will continue and continue until it is heard. This child inside you, it is not misbehaving, it is not out of line – it is your pure self. For you we would say it is the heart of you, the heart of your passion. This pure self inside you that has not taken on all of the layers and belief systems and the many conditioning of mass consciousness that all of you have taken on – and are letting go.

When you stop, acknowledge yourself, acknowledge that YOU are stopping yourself, there is a very pure and wise part of you that is putting on the brakes. We cannot tell you exactly why, that is for you to find out. Can you trust yourself enough to open up, to look deeply at that desire or that passion or that truth or that fear that has been hidden inside for so long? There IS a reason that it continues and it will continue until you listen to yourself, until you pause and let your little self catch up, until you open up and let her speak. She is pure and wise beyond what your mind might believe. We love you dearly.

QUESTION 5: I have a question. I’m trying to get an understanding of the fear and anxiety I felt when the Order of the Crimson Circle was done. I understand part of it was past life stuff and part current life, of dealing with people and mobs and that mentality. I was also told that there is an energy being, for lack of a better word, that feeds off of this energy and I’d like to learn how to get rid of that.

ANSWER: Indeed there is an incredible amount of past life – you could say – conditioning or decisions or choices or even vows that you have made – “Never again!” It has been very strong and with very good reason. But, first of all it is to reassure yourself that you are safe. You are safe, not because you think you are but because you choose it. You can choose it. This time is different.

Now you have… in your soul you have the memory of the other times, the other Orders, the other Societies, the other groups, and they all met an end. YOU met an end because of these, more than once. This time is different. This time you are safe. This time you are not in secret. You don’t have to be. It is simply to reassure yourself that you are safe,

And it is a choice. You are under absolutely no obligation in this. It is a choice and it continues to be a choice. You have not signed your soul away to this Order of the Crimson Circle. You have not given yourself up. You, sovereign God that you are, have a choice in every moment. Never give up your sovereignty, not even to yourself. YOU are sovereign.

Now… when you are sovereign unto yourself and when you are loving yourself, it is like a circuit. Perhaps you understand a bit of electrical circuits. If you have a closed circuit, the energy is moving through itself, there is nothing else that tap into that and feed off of it.

When you are loving you, giving yourself this love, this nurturing, and receiving it from yourself… this is an incredible subject that could be discussed for hours and days. There are many ways that you can love yourself – there is not a wrong way to love yourself! Anything is okay if it is loving you, if it is receiving your love… when you have this completed cycle inside you, your own energy nurturing yourself, you won’t be opening up and reaching out to others – and they can’t reach in and take a hold of you. There will not be this feeding that has been going on.

You don’t need to protect yourself, you don’t need to push anything away or block anything out. That is still placing your perception outside of you. If you feel something feeding on you – love yourself. Just come back to you. Turn around. Ignore what you think is feeding on you. Just ignore it, it feeds on your attention. Come back to you. Love yourself. If you feel an energy drain or something or someone feeding on you, stop, take the breath, give yourself a cookie – whatever is love to you, having nothing to do with anything outside you, especially what caused you the distress. You don’t need to protect yourself, you just need to love yourself.

And we will take one more question.

QUESTION 6: I have another question. I know the answer’s the same but a little reinforcement would help. One of the things I struggle with is commitments that I’ve made, some of which I’ve already been paid for, that I find myself not getting to and I keep struggling to get to them and everything seems to… well, I’m not getting to them. And that’s one of the places where I have a hard time coming back to me is when there’s a commitment to someone else that I’ve already received pay for.

ANSWER: Indeed it comes back to Self. With all of the logical considerations placed to the side, what choice feels like love to you?

In other words, you… let us assume you have placed everything to the side until you have caught up with yourself… we love that you used that term… and you are trusting you now, you are loving you, you have this completed circuit going and you know it’s going to be okay. Your mind is going, it doesn’t know “how,” but you know in your deepest self that it’s going to be okay and you are filled with love for you – and from you.

Now, when you take this situation… it is not a problem! It is a situation waiting for the solution… your mind can think of only one solution: “The work has been paid for – it must be done.” That is linear thinking. That is thinking! With your situation, what choice feels like love to you? Perhaps it feels like love to you to say “I’ve changed my mind, I cannot do this work. How can I pay you back? Can we make an arrangement? Can I refer it to someone else? Can I do it a bit at a time?” What feels like love to you? And you can always choose again. Perhaps it feels like love to you to give it back.

And understand, there are other energy dynamics going on with these type of things. There are many levels, things are more than they appear. Perhaps there is a level where you need to say “No more. I choose myself, no matter what” and that might shift the energy and when you give it back things will shift, come into a new place and who knows what could happen.

No matter what, choose what feels like love to you. The details will work out. The arrangements will work out. The schedule will work out, whatever your choice is, even if the choice is to do the work – but it must feel like love. Your mind will say “This isn’t right, it has to be this way. There are commitments.” The new way, the way of the Standard in the Order of the Crimson Circle is Self first. Anytime you deviate from that, things will not flow. You’ve been experiencing this. It can go against all the logic in your mind but when you choose Self first, everything else will flow – no matter what.

So indeed we tell you, there are some hurdles here that your mind is going to have to release. You don’t need to push your mind, just say “It’s alright, it’s going to work out because I’m loving me now. Somehow that will work it out.” When you trust yourself that much there is also inside you, and in each of you, a very pure and wise part, waiting create this flow, waiting to solve all your problems.

You heard about gnost, you heard it compared to a child, to your Inner Child. It is pure and wise, it is full of solutions – but not through the mind. The solutions won’t make sense to your mind because you’re choosing yourself first and your mind wants to solve all of these things around you, all of these things in your life. Your mind isn’t used to going inside.

Love yourself first and listen, open up to your Self. We can’t say enough how important this is in your lives now, how much it will open up the flow. It will bring in the solutions. They won’t come through your mind, they might not make sense, they might not even seem “right” or appropriate. But when you choose Self first, then your energy will be in balance and you can interact with every other in a balanced way and it will take on a beautiful flow. It will just work out, different in every moment.

Each of you… bar none, each of you has such depth and wisdom, such heart, such passion. It is time to open up and let it flow. Not looking out for where you can flow it to but looking in, how you can nurture this, how you can nurture yourself. You’ve spent lifetimes trying to nurture the world, it is time to nurture yourself – and the world will become perfect.

It has been an honor to gather with you, to listen to you, to feel you. What a beautiful reunion this is, what a beautiful energy you have created here. We love you so much.

We are complete.