Coming Back to Self

Personal Session – May 2010


Greetings, dear one.

We invite you to take a deep conscious breath and open your soul, your heart in this very safe and sacred space that we are all creating. There are no other energies from what you call the outside that are allowed here – if you choose it. We are here in service to you.

We are your team. We support your choices. We remind you who you are, and reflect back to you the wisdom of your soul.

We join together with the team of one who channels and all the supporting and appropriate energies to create a type of our own dimension here, our own sacred space. It is absolutely safe, if that is what you choose.

It is an honor to be invited in to speak with you in this way. As you know we will have information for you, we will address your questions, but there is a greater energy that is being downloaded. It is something that you have called forth, something that you have put in place to be received by you at this time, a potential that you created before this Now moment. You built it, you put it together, you put it in place and asked us to deliver this energy package to you at the appropriate time, which of course is also chosen by you.

So you have called us in to be with you at this time, to be with you in this moment, to reflect to you your own wisdom, and to surround you with the love that is here for you.

So, with that we will be delighted to address your questions.


Releasing Stuck Emotion

Q: I can’t cry, and I don’t know how I can do anything if I can’t cry.

A: Actually, you can. If you gave yourself an onion to chop, it would cause the tears to fall – which may help to “prime the pump” if you wanted to do that. Every human has the physical ability, but we understand what you mean. It is a very deep choice that you made at some point to not show emotion through your tears. It was safer that way, you see. It was safer to keep it inside yourself. That choice served you in the moment, helped to keep you safe in one way or another. It helped you cope with whatever was going on in your life at the time.

So it is not something that is wrong with you and not something that you are a victim of. It has simply been a choice. And as long as that choice is in place, can you honor that choice? Can you honor yourself for the choice that you made to not cry?

Energy moves. It must and it will, and energy moves very easily through tears. Ah, but it moves in other ways also. So this choice that you made to not cry, you are not a victim to that choice. In other words, you do not need to remain stuck just because of that particular circumstance. You can allow your energy to move, to flow, to release, to expand – with or without tears.

So, if you can do so then, how do you wish to move forward?

Q: To release any stuck emotion.

A: Indeed. Emotion does indeed get stuck very easily, especially intense emotions, because they are hard to feel. We could use an example of someone as a child and they have a traumatic experience and enormous emotion. That emotion is not allowed to be expressed and so rather than letting it flow, the child locks it away inside. Then it gets stuck and it stays there, stuck in that emotion, stuck in that experience and that energy until a time comes that it can be released.

Now, releasing … oh, there is much misunderstanding about releasing stuck energy. It actually does not mean ‘getting rid’ of it. If you want to release stuck emotion, the way to do this is to feel it – and that in itself is a very brave choice. It can be very difficult to feel difficult emotions, emotions that were so big they had to be buried, emotions that were so disruptive they were not accepted.

The way to release them is not to take them out of yourself and hurl them away never to be seen again, because that is what has already been done. That separates you from yourself. It separates that part of you – perhaps a child, perhaps an adult, whatever part of you that is stuck in that emotion – it separates even further when you try to get rid of it. So if you wish to release stuck emotion, we invite you to feel it. Not to think about it so much, but to give yourself the time and space and choice to truly, truly feel.

Most humans, when a difficult emotion comes up, they quickly change it. They quickly distract themselves – remembering something they need to do, thinking about the emotion, wondering why it’s there, perhaps thinking about the event that triggered it – anything they can do to distract from the feeling. But it got stuck in the first place because they didn’t want to feel it, you see.

So we invite you, if you are ready to make such a choice, to allow yourself to truly, truly feel. More than just thinking about it or talking about it or looking at it or planning for it, but to actually feel. This may mean something different in each moment, because the emotions may be different. They may change. They may go through evolutions. There may be different parts that have been buried or stuck. They come up at different times, triggered by different things.

When a feeling comes up we invite you to just stop whatever you are doing. There will be an almost automatic tendency to go to the mind, to say, “Oh, there’s that feeling again.” Or to project towards someone else some discomfort or upset. But when something comes up, we invite you to truly stop and take a very deep breath, again and again, and feel whatever is there.

If you make this choice to feel – which will indeed result in unsticking the emotion – you will bring circumstances and experiences into your life that trigger the feelings. In other words, you can think about it, you can say, “Well, yes, I want to feel,” but when you actually make the choice to feel, you will. You will trigger the feelings, whether through encounters with other people, situations that unfold in your day-to-day life, things that you see on the news or read about. You will bring to yourself events that trigger your emotions, and this will be the time to truly stop and breathe.

We emphasize with you specifically to stop, because it is easy to push away the emotions or to distract yourself, “Oh yes, that was a bit of anger I felt, but now it’s gone. Good for me. I got over that quickly.” But it was actually a distraction that you gave yourself.

So when you state that you wish to release the emotions, we speak back to you that they must be felt. And if you make this choice to feel them, you will bring to yourself experiences that will trigger them. It is not something that we will do for you or to you; it’s something that you must choose for yourself. But we will be here in every moment to remind you to breathe… and remind you to breathe… and remind you to breathe… and to love you and support you.


Dealing with Aspects

Q: It’s very difficult for me to get to the present moment. I feel like aspects are still running my life. Can you see them in a way that I haven’t been able to?

A: Oh, indeed, we can see plenty of aspects of yours that are manifesting in various ways. And it doesn’t matter all that much that we can see them, or even that you can see them. They love to be seen, actually. They love to be acknowledged and given the opportunity to play around. But it is about being in the present moment, for that is where the feelings are and where the integration happens.

The aspects – oh, they love the past and the future, because that’s where they exist. Experiences from the past … well, they are in the past. And when the aspects are in the forefront, you don’t really experience the present moment, because you are essentially recreating or re-experiencing the past.

Aspects that have gone off into the future worrying about what might happen or checking into potentials, generally worrying or fretting, wondering how to plan, those aspects keep you out of the Now moment also.

The question for you is, well, who’s the boss? Who’s the boss? The aspects are serving you in some very interesting ways. They are giving you plenty of stories to talk about. They are giving you reasons or excuses for situations in your life. You are having a hard time being in the present moment, and the aspects provide a convenient reason. So they are serving you, but are they really?

For you – and we speak to you the sovereign being, we will not speak to your aspects; we speak to you, and it is up to you what you do with this – but the question for you is, who’s the boss? Who calls the shots? Who is the I Am? Where is the I Am? When will you choose to be that?

The aspects will still be there. You will still feel them. They will still want to take over, but until you are ready to stop being their victim, nothing much will change. All of this is by your choice, whether conscious or unconscious. You are the creator of your reality. You are the one who decides when to take charge.

It’s not about controlling the aspects. You can’t boss them around. You can’t make them conform. You can only be in your Now moment, in your I Am essence, and then that will provide a homing beacon for them to come home to.

You see, aspects love power. They love to run the show, because in a sense they think with that power they will find their way home. They think that when they are in control, then they can find their way home. But aspects don’t know how to get home. They don’t understand what home is, because it’s not out there. It’s you.

So when you take that conscious breath – “I Am that I Am; come what may, I Am” – you breathe in your divine essence, and you allow yourself to feel whatever is there knowing it does not define you, it’s just an experience, then you begin to send out a homing beacon for all of those aspects. And even the most rebellious ones will be drawn, because more than anything they want to go home. They may not understand what or where home is, but they will recognize the signal.

But it is up to you. When you choose to sound the call, when you choose to be in your I Am Presence, in your essence, in your Now moment, in your Self, there will be a lot to feel when you choose this, because, as we said, it sounds the call for them to come home. And every aspect brings with it the feelings and the energies that it got stuck in.

If there is an aspect that got stuck in shame and you are in your Now moment and you breathe “I Am that I Am,” before long you may begin to feel shame. It is because the aspect that was stuck in shame is coming home, and it brings that feeling with it.

So you remember who you are, you breathe, you feel that feeling, you keep breathing, you keep breathing … and at some point it will pass – when you don’t engage it with your mind, when you don’t try to figure it out or analyze it or decide why it’s there, when you just feel it. It’s just the aspect coming home. You don’t need to engage it.

So, it is up to you in every moment.

Q: I know I have to feel at home, tell my aspects to come home, when I’m homeless or in situations where I don’t belong. But no matter how many times I choose my own space, I never get there.

A: Indeed, and your external world is actually a manifestation and result of your internal world. And because of this, when your internal world begins coming into wholeness and balance, your external reality will reflect that. It doesn’t work the other way around. We know that it would seem so much easier to have your external world in place and then the internal world would have the time and space and safety to come back to balance. But it works the other way around. Start creating that stability and that home spaceinside you – not with the intent to try and manifest it outside, but with the intent to create it so that the parts of you that are waiting can come home.

If you consciously create a safe space within you, it doesn’t matter what your surroundings are. The surroundings are a result, not a cause. If you were to consciously choose to create a safe space inside you every day – where your mind did not interfere, where you did not judge anything about yourself, where you spent every moment consciously, deeply breathing – if you did this for just 15 minutes a day, it would begin to change your life. If you did it for an hour a day, the change would be phenomenal.

Rather than looking outside you and seeing all of the reasons why you are stuck, you could make that choice to find that safe space inside you. Then that choice and that experience would set the standard for yourself and you would find it easier to go back to that standard throughout the day in other situations and other circumstances. If you just went out in the backyard and sat in a corner, it doesn’t matter where it is. If you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for 15 minutes, it doesn’t matter. What matters is your choice to create it inside you for yourself, to build that home inside you.

You see, the aspects are not going to come home to a pretty house where you live. They’re not going to come home to your external circumstances. That’s not where they belong. They’re going to come home to you inside. That is where home must be built by you, breath by breath. Then it will begin to manifest.


Choosing and Manifesting Potentials

Q: It seemed like I had enough potential. I feel like I have made a lot of choices about what I want to do next, but it doesn’t seem like anything is coming in.

A: Indeed. In a sense you are calling for potentials but yet not quite opening a space inside you for them to land. There’s a lot of focus on external circumstances, things that aren’t working, things that bring frustration. And, again, we would say if you would take the time to consciously choose to change your focus, even for a short time each day, it would have such an effect. When humans say, “I want to bring in these potentials. I make these choices, I want them to happen,” those choices are nearly always for external things and situations. Now, there’s nothing wrong with desiring an external change, but it starts inside.

If we can challenge you a bit here, consider the choices that you’ve made or wanted to make over the last few weeks. Let them drift through your mind … the things that you would like to create, the things that you would like to change. Take a look at them, feel into them, and take note of how many are outside of you. How many choices have you made for you? For how you will change the way you live within yourself? For how you will change the way you speak to yourself, the way that you listen to yourself, the way that you love yourself? How many of your choices are about “out there” and how many are about inside?

When the external choices don’t seem to be coming to fruition, take a look at what’s happening inside. Have you chosen a safe space inside for the potentials to birth into? Have you chosen to trust yourself? Have you chosen to love yourself no matter how frustrated you might be with your life? Have you chosen to feel, no matter how difficult the feelings are? Have you chosen to be in the Now no matter how much distraction there is? And have you chosen to breathe no matter how many reasons you have for not breathing?

Those are the high level choices. Those are the things that it’s time for you to be choosing. That will serve to connect you with yourself, to connect you to your center, to bring you into the Now moment, for the Now moment is the only place where you can create. Now is your point of creation and your point of choice – right here, right now, inside you. So when you reconnect with yourself by these inner choices, then there is a creative center waking up that can fulfill and empower the other choices – the lower level choices for things in your outside life, for circumstances and situations. It is the inside choices that need your attention.


The Separation Within

Q: I guess I’ve always seen layers, and there’s no pathways between the layers. Like a house can have many rooms but there are no doors between the rooms. Did I take this on from my dad? Or what is it that keeps it in place?

A: We are going to go back quite a way in your history here, even to times of Atlantis and in many other lifetimes since then. You have learned to segregate parts of yourself. You learned to do this for many different reasons, some of them due to trauma, but some also because it served you for things you wanted to accomplish. In other words, if there was something that you wanted to do that was challenging, you would segregate out that part of yourself that could accomplish that task. You would separate it out from the parts of you that doubted or that didn’t want to do it or feared the results or anything else. So there are many reasons and many ways that you have segregated yourself.

Now, you did indeed come into a family where this energy of segregation of self was essentially supported, but this is something that you created long before this lifetime. In a sense it was part of your research. It was something that you chose at a very deep level to explore deeply. How many pieces could you create from yourself? How much could you separate out completely, or would there always be a connection? These are some high level questions that you had a long, long time ago.

So in Atlantis you began playing with them, and in many, many lifetimes since then you explored the variations of these questions. You explored degrees of separation and fragmenting of yourself, but you are not a victim to any of this.

Now, at the human level there was indeed some victimization. There was indeed abuse. But at a deeper level, at a soul level, it was your choice. It was always by choice, because your soul wanted to go into those experiences and then find your way out.

So here you are in this lifetime, fairly fragmented, fairly segregated within yourself, and all of these rooms or layers have very little connection between them. And it’s all by your creation. But now you know that there’s a way out. There is a way to re-meld these parts of you back together. There is a way to come back home. Otherwise you could not have done it. The core of you is always there, and it can come to the forefront now, can stand up and take charge.

Here is a key for you. All of those parts or those cells or layers or fragments – the rooms, however you want to conceive of them – they don’t need to connect with each other.That is looking at the result rather than the cause. They don’t need to connect with each other. They need to connect with you, with your core, with your essence. You are their creator, and you can call them back home.

So, don’t worry so much about how to connect the different parts of you to each other, or how to create the doors in your house or the connections between the layers. It doesn’t matter what room of your mansion you’re in right now. The rooms are the aspects, but the one present in the room is you. So be there. Be in your mansion. Be in your space. Connect with yourself, wherever you may be – the basement, the loft, the bathroom, the kitchen, the dungeon – it doesn’t matter. Be there with you. Become aware of you – not the room but you that is in the room – and from that place of self-awareness and conscious breath, eventually a “door” will appear and “your” room will expand to include the next one. And at some point it will expand to include the next one. So you don’t have to go running through the house chopping doors in between all these rooms. You just expand you until it includes it all.

So, you can continue to look at this perception of separation as a problem or something that was inflicted upon you, something that now limits you; or you can choose to look at it as a grand experience of your soul, of going into the depths of separation and fragmentation and then finding your way back out, back to yourself, and then expanding into wholeness. But the choice is always, always up to you. It doesn’t matter who your father was or what was wrong with him. It doesn’t matter what lifetimes you’ve had, what choices you’ve made. This Now moment is your point of creation, and it’s always new. New choices for yourself are always available.

Q: When I try to do anything, really strong blocks come up. It feels like whenever I choose to do something, an opposing force comes in very strong. A block. A door slams really hard right away. And so I always have to find other ways to accomplish something, but I’m using force, instead of allowing it. Is there anything you can say about that?

A: First of all, we’re going to ask you, where is this opposing force coming from?

Q: Well, I’m sure it’s coming from me.

A: Indeed.

Q: I don’t seem to know why it’s coming from me! I don’t want to do nothing. I don’t want to stagnate, you know, so why every time I go to do something, I just …

A: You have set up this dynamic for yourself for various reasons, the biggest of which is your safety. But now it has become distorted. This dynamic doesn’t really serve you anymore, even though it has in the past. In a sense you have been so traumatized in the past, whether this lifetime or any other, that you said, “I’m just going to stop. I’m just not going to go out there and do things. I’m going to just stay right here inside myself, in my prison, because if I try to escape from the prison, everything goes wrong. I lose my life. I lose my head. I cause problems for my family,” whatever it might be.


Freedom or Safety?

So somewhere in there you made this choice that a small life was safer than a big life. That limitation, limited though it may be, was safer than freedom. You made that choice.

It has served you up to a point, but you can always make a new choice. And once again, these choices are more about how you are inside rather than what you do outside, more about what you feel than about what’s happening out there.

So, we want to ask you a question – and there is no right or wrong answer. But we ask, do you want freedom or do you want safety?

(long pause)

Q: Well, of course I want freedom (she laughs), but doing it is another thing.

A: Of course. Freedom sounds wonderful, but it doesn’t feel very safe. If you have freedom, god knows what might happen! If you have limitation, well, at least you know what’s probably going to happen, as uncomfortable as it may be.

This is something for you to truly feel into – without judgment. There is a place where you can have freedom and safety but not the kind of safety that you’ve known before.

Allow yourself to sit and breath into this choice. If you had absolute freedom, what does it feel like? If you have these limitations, how are they serving you? Because they are or they would not be there. These limitations are your choice; can you take a look at why you chose them, without judgment? There are no wrong choices. Nothing you have done was ever wrong. Ever. Now can you allow yourself to feel into these dynamics without judgment and truly explore how they have been serving you?

As Adamus said recently, “It’s your game. Perhaps it’s a good time to find out why you like it.” There’s no judgment about whether you like it or don’t, and part of you is going to say, “But I hate this game.” But you’re playing it, so there’s a part of you that likes it. Why not get in touch with that part and see what it has to say?

Q: Well, any final words?

A: Indeed. We’d like you to do something before the end of your day today that is purely love to you. Something that you might not usually do, something that may not make any sense, may be illogical, but do something to express love to yourself, whether it is to buy yourself a rose, give your foot a massage, to take a warm bath followed by lotions and perfumes, whatever you like.

Do something to give yourself love – and receive it. Receive the love that you have for you, because, oh, you do. Your essence, the You of you, loves you so much. It knows the depths to which you have gone. It knows the challenges that you’ve faced. It knows the challenges you still face, and it knows that you’re going to find your way back. You cannot lose yourself permanently. You’re not going to lose the game of life or experience on Earth. You are finding your way back to You. You can’t get it wrong. You can take a lot of twists and turns and detours on your journey, but you cannot get it wrong.

So allow yourself to feel that love that you have for you, even if it’s just a long and loving embrace from you to you. Allow yourself to receive it.

We invite you in this coming week to make choices inside, to make choices for how you are going to be with yourself, to make the choice to be in the Now and to breathe and to feel. All of these choices support your innate wholeness.

Right now you are in the illusion of fragmentation, and there is a level at which it is very real. But there is also the deeper reality of your wholeness that has simply chosen this experience. If you reconnect with yourself, with your heart, your soul, your stomach, your body, you’re going to reconnect with the other parts of yourself also.

And breathe. Take the time, make the choice to be in the Now and to breathe every day. It will take this beyond talking about it and into experience. If you make that choice, this is something we can guarantee.

So, with that it has been a joy to spend this time with you, to speak with you, share our love with you, for we do love you deeply.

You are truly never alone.

We are complete. Thank you.


© Copyright 2012 Jean Tinder, Golden, Colorado, USA.
This text may be shared in its entirety with reference given back to


Coming Back to Self — 3 Comments

  1. Simple and clear – this is what I needed today: just to remember this simpicity of being the Creator of my reality. Thank you!

  2. Dear Jean, this text is exactly what I needed to find, to hear, to read today here. Such a precious gift, so much compassion and love, so helpful informations !!! Wonderful !! Thank you so much for writing this website and for sharing these helpful tools. So much healing… thank you !!!