Published in Shaumbra Heartbeat, August 2008
Each of us have our own unique story of how we found our way to the Crimson Circle, how our heart made it back to this “family of choice.” Some of us have been here from the very beginning; some of us only months, weeks or even days. For myself, I discovered Tobias (by name) in the spring of 2002 when someone sent a channel to my brother and he passed it along to me. I’ll never forget how my heart opened when I read it. I had explored a lot of metaphysical things by then but that channel from Tobias went beyond anything else I’d ever read. It wasn’t about the information so much as the feeling of “I know this, this is HOME!”
As I devoured all the channels and came to know Tobias more clearly and consciously over the next few months, I recognized how his energy had been so near throughout my entire life. In fact, he has been there with every single one of us as we have found our way through this amazing lifetime – and that’s part of what makes this year, this moment, so deeply poignant.
We usually mourn when someone dies, when they leave the physical world and go back to the other realms. But this time, do you find yourself in a bit of mourning for the return of an angel to earth? Do you find Tobias to be almost more real than a human friend and wonder how to let go of someone who has been so close? How is it that a returning also means a leaving? A hello is also a goodbye? How can such incredible joy and celebration be mingled with such sadness?
Ah, that is why the angels are lining up to come back! It is the exquisite mixture of all these feelings that is the wonder of being human, and this is what they want to experience. When you’re an angel, as Tobias (mostly) is, you see the big picture; you understand how things work and why things happen. But because of that you also don’t have the sharp emotions that come from limited human perceptions. And yet it is our very capacity to feel so intensely that makes life on earth so precious.
Of course, somewhere along the way we got the notion that it wasn’t “good” to feel the pain along with the joy so we started separating out the parts that hurt. We learned to avoid certain feelings, bury them, talk ourselves out of them, or simply deny them. But in doing so, we dulled the joy as well. Tobias has been helping us remember how to feel again, and this year he will be offering us opportunities to feel at levels we’ve never felt before. He has lovingly encouraged us as we’ve opened our hearts, and now that openness will take us to a depth we might not expect. There will be a lot to feel this year. Will your heart stay open when you feel…
…the crushing fear of humans all around you as they feel their world falling apart?
…the uncertain panic as they wonder if it is the end – and if they’ll survive?
…the strange anticipation of those who want it to be the end and are doing what they can to bring it about?
…the madness of those who try ever more desperately to get your attention and feed you with their drama?
…the sadness of those who are losing the only hope they’ve ever had and don’t know what to replace it with?
…the judgment of those who are desperately clinging to a fading past and hate the ones they think are tearing it away?
…the hesitation of those who feel a glimmer of ‘something more’?
Will you remember that feeling all these things doesn’t mean YOU are afraid, uncertain, crazy or judgmental?
And when you feel the “loss” of Shaumbra’s greatest love as he returns to join us and follow in our footsteps, will you remember that you’re not really losing anything?
It’s an amazing thing we are doing. Never has consciousness changed so much so fast, and never has an angel had such a welcome to Planet Earth. The radiance of your soul is now the homing beacon for one who has waited so long to Return. The beat of your heart is the song that celebrates him home.