Published in Shaumbra Heartbeat, July 2008
It’s summer, at least in my part of the world. The weather is warm, the sun is shining and there is an air of rest and relaxation around town. People are busy, going about their lives and their jobs, but there is something about the warm summer days that brings a few more smiles and cheerful greetings.
Today I finished editing the latest Crimson Circle youtube video. Being very focused on the technical details and getting everything just so, I didn’t really allow myself to sink into the energy and feeling of it. But then, only minutes after it was completed, I realized that the energy packed into the message had been sort of piling up. And in that moment it washed over and filled me like a deep tidal wave. I just sat there with a silly grin on my face, feeling the reality that I call “being Shaumbra.” I could truly feel the impact that we are having on all of consciousness through the energy we are helping to create and bring in.
So what DOES it mean to be Shaumbra? I know plenty of people who despise the whole idea of joining anything and don’t like labels – even the label of ‘Shaumbra.’ And yet, it isn’t about joining a club or a church or a group of any kind. Rather than joining something, it’s about recognizing each other’s sovereignty. In fact, the most outstanding trait among Shaumbra is how unique and individual we are, which makes us a pretty irregular bunch! However, another thing Shaumbra tend to have in common – to the great relief of “newbies” who have spent years thinking they are the only ones – is our mutual weirdness.
Who else would understand?
…when you find yourself awake at 3 AM, realizing you are ‘not quite alone’ in the early morning darkness. So, instead of going back to sleep – which you can’t seem to do anyway – you have a lovely conversation with the shadows on the wall.
…then you get up, fiddle with your email, dawdle around the house, and finally go back to sleep right about when the rest of the world is getting up.
…when you finally roll out of bed again a few hours later you’re glad to be awake because in the last 2 hours of “sleep” you did more work than the last four days combined. You need to wake up just to get some rest! (Don’t those non-physical students ever take a holiday?)
…when your body is asking for food but nothing sounds appealing, you mutter something about wishing for some Atlantean food – and then have another talk with your body, your aspects, your brain and even your divinity, making it clear that they are just going to have to deal with the 21st century.
…later in the day when you’re sitting there breathing, someone asks what you’re doing and you reply – in total seriousness – “I’m working!”
…after finding the salt in the refrigerator and the yogurt in the cupboard again, you wonder why our buddies keep telling us to get out of our minds – because you’re sure that yours left the building six months ago!
…you’re meandering through your day and things are going along pretty well, when all of a sudden you wobble a bit, feel terribly groggy, and fall asleep practically right where you are. (Nope, they don’t even know about regular working hours, apparently you’re on call 24/7!)
…you finally get around to getting showered and dressed, only to discover that the clothes you wore last week don’t fit anymore! How can this happen when you’re hardly even eating anything?
…one day you’ve just had it with all this ascension and consciousness work. You rant, rave and cry, deciding that it’s time to give up, go back to life as a ‘normal’ person (whatever that is) and forget all this nonsense. Then you wake up the next morning with a whole new outlook on life, a glow in your heart, a lightness in your step – and think maybe you should “lose it” a little more often!
…you go to the store for a few groceries and find yourself walking around the whole place about 3 times because you keep getting distracted by little things… like the baby peering over daddy’s shoulder… or feeling a sudden cloud of heavy energy and just stand there breathing in front of the pasta for a while.
…you’re finally driving home and realize – too late – that while you were off in la-la land you drove right on past the street where you’ve lived for years. You sheepishly turn around with a note to self: “Make sure my driver aspect knows where we’re going before getting behind the wheel.”
…you hardly bat an eye any more when you see little flashes of light in the corner, shadows of your long gone pets keeping you company, or colors dancing through your room. It’s just what happens.
…when it’s finally time for bed you crawl in to snuggle up with your own lovely self, happy to rest in your own embrace as you head out for the night shift.
Isn’t it great to know that if you are going crazy, at least you’re in good company?
And in fact, rather than feeling crazy, every day you feel a little happier, a little clearer, a little stronger, a little taller. In your life is a little more joy, a little more abundance, a little more freedom, a little more laughter and a little less fear – all because you’ve finally learned to trust yourself and follow your own heartbeat, no matter where it leads you.