Personal Session – December 3, 2005
ANGEL TEAM: [Intro. Angels speak of client's growth, energies and gifts to be delivered during the session, general issues, etc.]
CLIENT: [Explains a personal situation that has resulted in long-standing inflammation and severe pain in the sexual area. Speaks of unresolved issues regarding relationships, trying to release internal flickerings of anger, wanting to see the lessons in situations that seem to be repeating. Felt the physical imbalance was "gifted" by previous partner. Speaks of much upheaval and change going on in all areas of life... family, career, internal, interpersonal, financial, spiritual, etc. Wants to understand the pattern and dynamics going on. Wants to heal the intense physical pain (after months of trying many tradition and alternative therapies with no success). Feels stuck.]
ANGEL TEAM: Indeed. As you can sense, as you know, there are many levels to this, many dynamics going on. We will speak of several things.
First of all, it is to understand that these last months of time have been a time of change, a time of shaking up of so many areas of life in general. You are feeling the effects of this as are so many others. So simply understand that you are on the roller coaster ride along with the best of them. And give yourself compassion for allowing these changes into your life. Give yourself compassion. This is something that we will speak of at length.
This event or situation that brought about your current circumstances, as you know, was by agreement at the other levels. It was something that you allowed. You created, or co-created, this experience. Choices were made, and things are now as they are.
So, as you know, the first order is to understand that this is your creation. Not from a perspective of having created something wrong. Dear God cannot make a mistake! God can choose experiences. God can create circumstances for interesting purposes. But God has not made a mistake. You, dear one, have not created wrong, you are simply creating this situation for the gifts that you are giving yourself within it.
Now… it is time for you to find a new level of a type of healing. Yes there are many techniques, there are many things that you have learned. Ways to move energy, ways to direct energy. These are not working for you in this situation because you are ready to learn something new. You ARE ready. And if you are willing, it is time to learn New Energy healing.
New Energy healing. It is different in the New Energy than it is in the Old. And you are in the process of moving from the Old into the New.
CLIENT: I feel that … I don’t know what the new is…
ANGEL TEAM: Indeed, this is part of why we are speaking with you! First of all, it is to know… to know, to choose, to select in your knowing… to understand… that you are SAFE. There are many levels to this safety. You can select to be safe at every level.
At the physical level, your home, your circumstances, your surroundings. Simply know that you are safe.
At the emotional or the psychic level. KNOW that you are safe.
You are safe. It is your knowing, your acknowledgment of this, that makes it so. There is nothing that you have to change, nothing that you have to push, nothing you have to protect. No walls that you need to put up. Simply BE the safe energy. Simply be with yourself in this.
Then, give this to your body. When you sit with yourself… you say you have meditated on this issue and this is wonderful… but now, sit with yourself for a time each day and UNDERSTAND that you are safe. In other words, know at your very core that you are safe and allow this energy, this knowing, to expand from your heart, from your core, like a light that begins glowing.
You are not using this energy to push anything away, to clear anything out, to burn anything out or to change anything. Simply sit with yourself and find your core. You will feel it in your heart area. Find the core of you. FEEL the safety at your core. Feel the safety that you are.
And with the breath… oh yes the breath is so very, very important. There are no techniques, no specific ways that you need to breathe. Simply choose to breathe. With the conscious breath, with every breath breathe safety. Breath the safe energy. Let it fill you. Let this safety, this point of safety at your core, let it expand like a warmth at your core. And it expands to warm all of you. It is not something that comes to you from the outside. It is not something you have to work and push to create. It is something that expands from your core to fill you.
CLIENT: I realize that this is a lesson right now because I have been putting up walls, like you said. I’ve been feeling like I need to set boundaries with people. There’s been a lot of negativity, like with my family, with different things. How should I handle that? I feel like there are specific abuses that are being pushed towards me and I just don’t want to be a part of that, so isn’t it correct to put up a boundary? That’s where I’m a little confused. I understand that safety’s coming from within, I can feel it. But when it comes to outer people and things, what would be your suggestion for that?
ANGEL TEAM: Indeed, wonderful questions. Indeed you can use boundaries, and indeed this is the old way. It has served you. It’s also served to create separation, for you place a boundary upon yourself and then it is a limitation. So it is not to get into a philosophical discussion about the appropriateness of boundaries, but you are asking for a new way. You are asking to understand what the New Energy way is, the New Energy safety. For when you are safe you do not need these walls, these barriers.
So… it is to know that you are safe, and then… how to say… we are looking for a way to give this to you so that you can trigger a reminder for yourself.
First of all, when you push something away… this negativity that is coming at you and pushing at you… the natural tendency is to push back, to keep it away from you. And whatever you push away from you WILL push back. This is the way of duality. For every force there is an equal and opposite force, so when you push it away it will push back. And you have experienced the strength of this. You have experienced the strength of what is pushing at you and it is a reflection of your strength in pushing away, you see. So understand this is a reflection.
The new way… we will use the example of water. When you are holding energy, when there are things you need to keep away from yourself, whether it is outside energies or whether it is your own energies that are unacceptable to you… and this has included things like anger. Things like…
CLIENT: I need to talk about anger. I’ve been feeling a lot of internal anger that I’m finding challenging to release.
ANGEL TEAM: Indeed, and we will speak of this in a moment. But for now, there are energies that you have been holding. Whether they are coming from outside or coming from within, you have been holding them away, at bay, outside of yourself. You do not wish to have this anger within you, you do not wish to have these negative things from others within you, and so you hold them away.
Now, when you do this, you are placing the energy into a structure. You are holding it. It is like you are a bowl of water. The water is your energy. Now as you know, energy seeks resolution. This is the law of energy. It seeks – and finds – its resolution the same way that water seeks and finds its own level. You do not have to push or pull at the energy for it to find resolution. You simply need to allow it. Simply allow the water to become level.
So, energy that you have put into a structure to hold outside of yourself… because it is unacceptable, because you do not like it, because whatever reason… it is like water that has been placed into the structure of an ice cube. When water is in ice, you can pick it up and put it away. You can take it out of the bowl. You can hold it, you see.
So these things… you have taken YOUR energy… we will speak simply of you right now… you have taken you energy, let us say of anger about something, placed it into a structure so that you could metaphorically pick it up and place it outside of you. It is your own energy that you are placing outside of yourself and it is your own energy that you are using to do this. So you are depleting yourself double time, so to speak. It takes a lot of energy to hold this at bay, because energy seeks resolution. It is like a dam holding back a river. It seeks resolution and it takes energy to hold it away.
Now to release energy that you are holding… oh, people hear the word “release” and they think it means “to get rid of.” But this is not the case. You want to release the anger that you’re holding, or any other energy that you are holding… you want to release it. It is to release the STRUCTURE. It would be like bringing the ice cube back into the bowl of water. Simply by bringing it home, it melts and joins the water again. It finds its resolution. By bringing these energies home to you, which we will speak of in a moment, it allows the energy… it allows YOUR energy to come home and find resolution. It adds to all that you are. You free up your energy. Your bowl of water, so to speak, comes back to full rather than being scattered around in ice cubes.
Now, as you do this, as you become clear, as you release these structures, it will also have the effect of releasing the structures that others can also push against. You see, when others poke at you and push at you… oh, there are some very solid structures within you or around you that they can push at. Like chunks of ice they can pull at them, or push on them. And you can feel this.
But when you bring your energy back to yourself… oh, they cannot grab at the water. Perhaps they can splash around a bit but immediately it comes back to it’s own level. When your energy… the energy that you are holding… when you allow it to come home and allow it to come back to you, there will be nothing for them to push against. You may see them, perhaps raging at you. You may see them falsely accusing you… but the energy will pass right through you.
You have built quite a wall out of these ice cubes and it gets pushed and broken down. And you put it back up. It has been keeping you “safe” but it is time now to allow all of this to melt back into you. Oh, it seems like then you would be so vulnerable, but in truth you would become completely safe. All of these energies directed at you will simply pass though. You can watch them going by. It will take a bit of time, a bit of practice, a lot of awareness, and a lot of allowing. But it begins with understanding you are safe. No matter what negative energies come toward you, you can choose safety. You can choose clarity.
You see, we could also use the example of your light bulbs. You have light bulbs that become very, very hot. A lot of energy goes through them. When they are clear they function perfectly. But when the glass gets dirty, gets oils on it or any of these things… becomes unclear… then the energy passing through creates heat, creates friction in a way, and can burn up the bulb.
It is the same with any energy that comes towards you; when you are completely clear it does not engage. It passes through without creating this heat.
CLIENT: So would even, for example, energy work… would that do the same thing? So if I’m in a Reiki session is that energy just passing through me?
ANGEL TEAM: The next understanding of this is that energy passing through you is there for you to use – if you choose. It is simply energy.
Now, we will say that Reiki can be very beneficial but it is generally a way of energy pushing. It is positive energy pushing as opposed to negative energy pushing, but it is still pushing. And again, you can use it to your benefit. But understand that your healing and your balance comes from within yourself. It is not imparted to you from anything or anyone outside of you. It is found within. It is your own energy coming back into balance.
Now… this anger. Indeed this is an issue that is coming to the surface right now, and it is manifesting in your body. This is, we would say, is a foundational energy for the imbalance and the pain that you’re experiencing. Different aspects or flavors, so to speak, of the anger.
First of all, it is to understand that anger is not wrong. It is an emotion. It is a part of you. There have been lifetimes upon lifetimes, and even more importantly years and years of this lifetime, where anger has not been allowed for many reasons. From the time that you were brand new anger has not been allowed. You have taken this within you and you have not allowed your own anger. But it is a part of you.
You see, if you felt joy and elation about something, but you were required to be completely stoic and not allowed to express it one bit… oh – you would feel like you would burst. For so much energy within you that could not be allowed to flow. But you do not generally have this problem because joy and happiness is acceptable.
Anger is your own energy also, simply needing it’s own flow. When it is not allowed to flow it goes inward, as you know. It is like a river that becomes dammed up and it grows muddy and it grow dirty and it grows deeper. Eventually it MUST break through.
This symptom, the symptom that you have in your body… it is the energy of anger that has been turned upon yourself. It has to flow, and it is not acceptable to flow outward and so you flow it inward. You say that, at the beginning, you “are not even angry” were the words that you used. You were not even angry. And you… we’re being blunt here… you say this as if it is righteous or the most spiritually advanced or appropriate choice. “I was not even angry.” Why not? Why not?
CLIENT: I think what I find is I tried to fully connect to the emotion of anger… I mean of letting it out of my body. You know, I’ll get in my car and I’ll scream or I’ll hit a pillow. I don’t feel connected to it though. I feel like I’m just going through the motions. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life… and you’re absolutely right, I was never allowed to be angry growing up as a child, or whatever, when things were done to me. So I don’t know how to fully release anger. I do things, I do my yoga. I’ll, like I said, hit a pillow or whatever, but I don’t feel connected to it. I don’t know what anger, the constructive anger, is. I don’t know how to release it, or IF I am releasing it. I don’t know, that’s the thing. It’s been very rare have I ever been in a rage. I don’t even know what that fully is. I think I can say that honestly. I feel disconnected from that emotion. I’ve been angry, but I know I do suppress it in my body. I don’t know… I’m just trying to explain it the best I know how.
ANGEL TEAM: Indeed… first of all we would say that, for now, let go of the concept of releasing anger. We know this sounds counterintuitive, that perhaps the opposite of releasing is bottling, but this is not the case. For now, simply release… let go the idea of releasing anger.
Instead, ask yourself this every day: “How do I embody my anger?” You have anger. Your body is telling you this very clearly. You have anger. Sit with yourself. Breathe for a bit of time. And ask yourself “How can I embody anger? If I was angry… let us pretend…” You see, oh “let’s pretend” is a wonderful tool. It helps to bypass your mind, you see. So… “If I were to pretend I was angry what would that feel like? How would it feel in my body? How would I embody anger?”
When you embody something you allow it to FILL you and to be FELT by you. You see, anger is a very primal emotion. We want you to breathe here for a moment and allow yourself to feel the energy of what we’re going to say to you.
When you go in your car and scream and yell, or hit a pillow, you are correct that you are not feeling connected…
CLIENT: I have to say right now there’s someone continually trying to call me (session was over the phone) and I’m getting very angry! [laughing] I mean internally pissed off!
ANGEL TEAM: Wonderful!
CLIENT (laughing): It’s kinda laughable… it’s just funny how that’s happening right now.
ANGEL TEAM: Allow it to be, this is your creation.
CLIENT: Yeah, I’m feeling very irritated. But I don’t…
ANGEL TEAM: Now… stop! Stop for a moment. Feel this irritation. Oh, you want to laugh it off, it stops at your throat. You laugh to push it out, so to speak. FEEL this irritation. Breath it down into your chest. Oh… it touches your heart. Perhaps it hurts. Breathe this irritation…
CLIENT: (exclaims in pain) Oh!! It’s doing it now! It’s like… ARRGGHHH! (pause) Okay…
ANGEL TEAM: This is your gift to you. Breathe this anger, this irritation, into your stomach, your solar plexus. Perhaps you feel the heat.
CLIENT: I feel clenching in my stomach.
ANGEL TEAM: Breathe it deeper. Breathe it into your belly, your abdomen. Feel this anger churning in your belly, in your gut. Breathe it down. Let it fill you.
CLIENT: Oh I’m feeling it now…
ANGEL TEAM: Let it fill you. You are safe, we are here with you. You are a grand creator, allowing this. Now, breathe this all the way down to your root. To your root chakra, the bottom of you – your bottom! Feel it burning at the very core, the very root of you. Just allow yourself to feel it, there’s nothing that you need to do with it. Simply feel it.
CLIENT: Yeah, I’m feeling it.
ANGEL TEAM: Feel. And feel. And feel. This moment, this Now, you are embodying your anger. You feel it in all of your body. Oh it warms you! It enrages you perhaps, gets your energy moving.
Now breathe it. Breathe. Do not hold your breath. Breathe it in all the way down to your core, to your roots. Breathe it out… not to get rid of it, simply breathe it like you breathe the air. Allow it to move as if your breath is a wave on the ocean and this anger the ship. Simply breathe it. Notice how your body feels.
CLIENT: Yeah, oh I notice like I’m trying to move the air, move the breath, and I can just feel the block. I feel clenching.
ANGEL TEAM: Indeed. To feel, to allow yourself to feel the anger… oh, it touches anger that is within you and has been for a long time. It matches and resonates with that. And you clamp down in protection. But this moment you are safe. How much can you open up and feel it? It will not engulf you. It will not consume you. When you allow it to be, you embody it. It is when you hold it away from yourself that it comes in the back door, so to speak, and begins to consume you.
Simply breathe for a moment. Feel our energies surrounding you. We’re not here to take it away, we’re here to help you hold steady while you feel it. Simply breathe. Notice how deeply, or how shallow, that you can breathe it. Allow it to go a little deeper each time.
You see, with any energy… and anger is a very potent energy. It is one that, more than any other, has been kept away by so many, and indeed by yourself. With any energy it is the allowing and the embodiment of it that IS the healing.
When you simply allow yourself to feel it, let it come in past your throat… into your chest… into your stomach… into your belly… and into your root… into your very center of creation, your sexual area… yes, it has to be felt all the way through you. You have to allow it to fill you and to FEEL. This IS the healing. Simply to be felt. You can feel it now, even as we speak you can feel it changing. We are not changing it. You are not pushing it. It is simply the allowance that allows the resolution and creates the healing.
You see… anger will BE your healing.
You can feel, this moment… we marvel at your creatorship! This moment you allowed yourself to feel this incredible energy. You allowed it to come into you. Oh you began to laugh it off and stop it at your throat. But you allowed it to come into you. Can you FEEL the energy that it brought? It is this incredible and potent energy, it is neither negative or positive. But when you allow it to come into you and fill your body it will bring healing energy to your body. You have created this imbalance at your very root in order to draw yourself to allowing the energy all the way down.
So… any time something irritates you… any time you feel even a glint of anger, and you think “Oh that was nothing,” no! This is something to use! It is like “Oh yes!! Here is a treasure, something that can trigger a little bit more of my anger which is a little bit more of my healing energy. I will make use of it. I will bring it into myself.” Let yourself feel it all the way down. You can imagine that anger carries… it IS the carrier of your healing energy. And when you can feel it all the way down into your body it brings the healing energy to the very place that you need it.
CLIENT: Allowing myself…. anger equals healing. That’s definitely been my thing to work with here, is anger and feeling frustration.
ANGEL TEAM: Simply remind yourself. It is important to remember that it is there to be FELT. You see these techniques of screaming or hitting, they are given to you by the old way of thinking that believes that anger needs to be put outside of you. Put it into the pillow, or put it into the scream or the air. All these are ways of taking it outside of yourself, getting rid of it. But you are ready to bring it INTO you. And you WILL begin to feel it.
Oh! When it fills your body perhaps there will be a time that you do need to express it, that you DO need to hit something and then you WILL feel it. You WILL connect with the energy and you will know… you will know in yourself how to best express. But we will tell you: for now it is simply to feel it and breathe it. Breathe it – not to change it but to bring it into you even deeper. With every breath it becomes deeper, it becomes denser. It touches every cell of you. With every breath. You are breathing it like you are breathing life. The time will come when you will feel it and oh, that punch of the pillow will be more satisfying than anything. But.. it will come. It is not necessary to express in that way. It is necessary… it is vital that you bring it into yourself.
You do not need an excuse to be angry. It is simply there. Allow it.
CLIENT: There’s such deep love there and it’s just hard to move through the anger.
ANGEL TEAM: Do not move through it. Bring it home. It is yours. In his great love, he is being there to trigger it for you. To activate your own healing energy. To activate YOU. It is not negative. Take off the judgment of anger, take off the resistance to anger, the idea that it has to be gotten over with. It is just energy. It is potent energy. When it is misdirected, as any potent energy, if it is misused or misdirected, it can harm. But allowed it’s true resolution it will add so much to you. And then all of these other issues will find their resolution. They will fall into place.